April 10, 2008
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Lectures I Have Given Recently
Do Not Play With Broken Glass! Stop Tossing It Into the Air and Give It To Me!
Paired with, as a freebie:
Next Time You Find Broken Glass Leave It Alone and Come Tell Me! Stupidhead!No More Food For You Until You Stop Puking All the Time
If You Talk To Me While I"m On The Phone, You Will Always Just Get A Mean Look
Don't Open the Door for Strangers
Don't Run Out the Side Gate to Talk to Strangers in Our Neighbor's Yard
Don't Grab The Baby By Her Head
And, lest you think we're too negative at the Mommy Academy:
Yes, You Should Flush Every Time You Poop
Nose Blowing, A Review of Methods and Accomplishments
Feel free to sign up for a lecture or two. I'll happily holler at your kids awhile. Or you can come explain basic civilization to my kids. I'm failing, it seems, because none of those are made up. The broken glass nearly gave me an aneurysm.
Comments (3)
We just have the boring old Don't Eat the Snow Where the Dog Just Peed.
We ought to come to your house for the broken glass.
For you, I'll throw in the 'Don't Eat Those Peppers They're Really Super Hot'. Then you can give the one about snow to my kids. It'll be a cultural exchange.
Deal.
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